We have all been there before.
One minute you are tuned-in, tapped-in and turned-on, flying high on a wave of spiritual clarity. Things are manifesting steadily and all is well in your world. Then out of nowhere it is as if the rivers and oceans just dry up. Things start to fall apart or stop manifesting as they were. You feel your positivity fading and that familiar shrouded feeling of doubt and depression begins to lurk within you. Before you know it you are hold up in bed all day surfing channels and eating ice cream, and after a day or two of that you are crying out to the universe “why me?!”.
It is as if the powerful loving waves that were carrying you have dumped you on a hot sandy beach and the tide is receding. You are stranded, and you do not know how to get that good feeling back. Have you been forsaken? Where did spirit go? Where did you go wrong?
I am writing this because this is where I am today.
Just because I had a spiritual epiphany a few months back doesn’t mean I am always in that state. In some ways things have gotten a bit harder in that I am more aware of when I am slipping out of my high vibration and I no longer enjoy being down there. So I have to resist the urge to fall into depression and do the things I know will bring me back into alignment.
To do that, I have to ask myself some hard questions. I had to admit that I used to secretly love my depression. I loved the self indulgence of it, the self righteousness of feeling that I have been wronged by others or by circumstance. I wore my depression and sadness as a badge of honor, a badge of purity. “People just don’t get me” “I am different than others” “I am alone”. But now I know that this isn’t true. There are many people out there that feel the way I do. I also know now that I am responsible for my own vibration and emotions. I know that it is my responsibility to right my own ship, and besides, I no longer want to wallow,…I want to shine!
So what is going on with the beached whale syndrome? What can you do?
Over the years I have read many explanations ranging from semi-practical to absurd. One thing I have read often but do NOT agree with is that “spirit comes in waves and sometimes it pulls back”…this, in my experience is NEVER true. IT IS US that pulls back, IT IS US who loses the footing of the path, IT IS US who switch into auto-pilot and stop paying attention. Spirit is always there, it is just sometimes we find ourselves out of sync with it,…and yes it is our fault.
So what is going on? Well…every situation and person is unique, I do not want to belittle the pain or out-of-balance feelings you are having by just telling you that it is your fault and leave it at that, so lets go deeper.
Why do we slip off the path just when things are going good?
I can only relate to you my own experience. If it doesn’t fit you, leave it at the door. But what I find is usually one of four things going on.
Fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear that I don’t deserve better and that I won’t be supported by the Universe when I step through that door. Some of us so accustomed to life not going our way that we are discomforted by feelings of ease until we adjust to it. Our feelings of being beached are sometimes there to slow the pace down,…give us time to breath. This is, in a way, a self-imposed beaching.
Everyone loves to see rockets blasting into space, we may wish we could be there feeling that power and thrust behind us,…but actually being in that rocket may be a drastically different experience. The roar of the engines, the pressure of being pressed into your seat, the knowledge that any one of a myriad of tiny things could go wrong and you would die tragically.
Fear of the speed at which I am traveling is one of the biggest challenges I have had to confront within myself. It begins by admitting this may be so and taking it easy. Instead of beating yourself with the, “why do I always do this” stick, give yourself a break. Plan a low key day, go for a walk, talk to a friend, take a bath, let it go for the day and intend to begin fresh tomorrow. The break is only temporary, it becomes a larger problem when you try to place blame. By grasping hold of that fear and using it as an excuse to stop moving all together. By using the desire to slow the pace as the reason why you don’t deserve or will never achieve progress in your life. Just stop it, accept that everyone needs to slow down once in a while and use the time to re-evaluate your footing.
Two,…I expect life to be like a roller-coaster.
That is, I expect the hard work to be when I am climbing that first hill, and once I feel the momentum of gravity pulling me down the other side I expect momentum to do the rest. This isn’t always a conscious decision, often I just get swept up in the awe of the fact that things have started to move at all and I take my eye off the ball. I stop doing the things that got me there and let out a big sigh of relief and let go of the wheel. Well, what happens then is that I am barreling down the track at ever increasing speeds and no-one is steering, so I end up on that proverbial beach. Instead, what I am learning to do, is to keep my vision two steps ahead. When things start going well I double down on my focus and grip the wheel even tighter while watching the road a few more paces ahead than before. Use that momentum, assume it will continue and lift your eyes to the horizon. IT IS MY focus and MY intention that dictates where my life is going and so I have had to give up the illusion of there ever being an auto-pilot. As long as I reside in a human body I must make the effort to stay in the drivers seat.
This is the understanding that I am in control, and I must be diligent in my practice, diligent in my focus, to keep steering this boat even when I feel the current start to lift me up. When things go well I now expect more to follow, I take this new found “lift” and turn it into even more momentum in the direction I want it to go. If you have been working a long time to climb that first hill, the feeling of current beneath you is at first a bit awe-inspiring, but do not rest there, take it as a signal that NOW is the time to set your mind to what comes next, what happens after the momentum has begun.
Three,…sometimes we need to clear a bit of debris from the road.
Often I find that when I feel beached, that old issues are rising to the surface that need addressed in order for there to be more growth. Lingering self-doubt, resentments that need to be released, old habits that need to be rooted out and replaced. I didn’t get to where I am in my spiritual development through a conflict-free life. I often say my path was a long and crooked one. However, at my current stage of development there are many old memories or hidden pains that may once have been the thrust of my wanting better, but they are now the hindrance to my getting better. And I need to clean them up.
For example, I desire more prosperity in my life. I am tired of being one foot out of the poorhouse and struggling to stay alive. But way back in my life I developed a resentment of those who had it easier financially. I did not want to be like the selfish self-absorbed people I saw who never had to think about money. I saw what greed did to our society and I wanted nothing to do with it. In another life and another time I might have become a monk, or joined a cloister. Can you see how this might interfere with my ability to accept more for myself? Can you see how my disgust of everything to do with money may be holding me back from manifesting more of it in my life? Do you see any patterns in your way of thinking that may be holding you back?
And,…four. We legitimately make a wrong turn and momentum is dutifully sweeping us in the wrong direction.
Grrr, I did it again,…I didn’t mean to say/do those things, I just got caught up in my anger and out the words popped. Now I am embroiled in another ugly conflict that I certainly could have avoided. But it’s too late now, the momentum has been set and even if I pull my attention away it won’t stop the train wreck that is coming. Just when things were really going well too.
Sigh. Deep breath. What to do now…
Well, in such a case I have to ask myself why I succumbed to the drama, why I got caught acting before I could think right. Usually I find that I was having a bad day in other ways and the mood just spilled over. So I must forgive myself and then admit my role in the issue to the ones I hurt and ask to be forgiven. What I don’t want to do is to get stuck in the blame game, trying to justify my actions or put the blame on someone else. What I don’t want to do is wallow in anger or self-pity until the tide has receded and I am alone sitting on the hot sand. What I don’t want to do is hold onto the event, chewing on it until I’m really good and angry, or depressed, as some badge of honor.
What we must do is sooth ourselves,…and then sooth others.
If you have never heard of Abraham Hicks I highly recommend her writings, she is a master at self-soothing, at realigning our emotions and intent. (There are literally hundreds of videos of her speaking on YouTube, just type in “Abraham Hicks ___” filling the blank with whatever issue is on your mind and a plethora of choices are there). I turn to her when I need to lift my spirits, redefine my focus or even whenever I do something I know better than to do and the results are coming my way.
She tells a story about momentum, where if you were at the top of a hill with your car and you put it in neutral and just tap it to see what will happen, the car will start to roll. To stop it at the top of the hill is easy, just get in front of it and stop it, but to stop it once it has gained momentum at the bottom of the hill would be a disaster. Her lesson is to get out in front of the momentum and to stop it before it takes hold in our lives, but that sometimes it is just too late. Her advice then? “Hold on dear ones, it will be over in a minute”. In other words, sometimes you just got to let the thing crash and start over. Take a nap, let it go, it will be over soon. You can begin again tomorrow.
Of all these reasons we find ourselves alone on that hot sandy beach, they all require the same remedy. Step back, relax, ask yourself the hard questions, be forgiving, refocus on the things that got you on top of that hill in the first place, and never forget you are in control.
So why am I on this beach today?
I am waiting on some news that just won’t come, and I have never been very good at waiting. I have tried to distract myself, to meditate, to do something else productive, but in the end I still found myself staring at the wall wondering why I feel so alone. The difference is now I know what is going on,…I am heading for the beach, old habits of self-doubt and depression are lurking within me, the good news is I now know how to stop it.
It will be ok, I know that. The news will come when it is time and me wallowing isn’t going to speed that up. Instead I have decided that what I want to happen will happen (and if not that’s ok too) and I need to keep focused on what got me here in the first place. So, I sat down to write this article, because I always feel good when I write, I have some great music playing in the background that makes me smile, it is a beautiful day outside and I am completely content where I am right now in this minute.
I hope this helped a bit, I would love to hear about your episodes of being a beached whale and how you dealt with it. Remember, we are never alone, we are never abandoned by spirit, it is ok to have a bad moment, or day, but try not to let that stop you. Reach out reach up and I promise there will always be a hand to help.
I am already beginning to feeling better, no trip to the beach for me today. now excuse me while I go take a nap!